Listen to me read the title poem
The Way of Reckoning |
The Way of Reckoning Introduction
I am an incest survivor. In previous editions, I stated that my father first raped me when I was six years old and continued well into my adolescence. I now know the abuse began before I could speak. My psyche coped with that trauma by splitting in two—a child who experienced every moment of the abuse and another child who knew nothing of it. In her book, Miss America by Day, Marilyn Van Derbur, also an incest survivor, calls these personas the night child and day child. Neither my night child nor day child knew the other existed until my repressed memories surfaced at the age of 37—some 20 years after the abuse ended.
I have been writing poetry since I was 15, most of it sad, much of it philosophical—all of it insightful even though I didn’t yet have the ability to understand the insight. In retrospect, it is as if I were writing for a future me whose task was to re-integrate my night child and day child into a whole person. The Way of Reckoning, is the title of the first poem I wrote after my memories surfaced. It is the quintessential example of a poem written for the future me, describing both the violent upheaval I was beginning and the revelation of truth that would result. Read More |